Single Image #3

Ashely Dwelle in the studio dancing, 2015.

Single Image #3

My father, Crispin Kilo, greets two week old billies as their mother watches protectively nearby. February 2, 2015.

Single Image #3

Couple fishing on a relaxing Sunday evening in Monterey Bay, September 2015.

Photographs Not Taken #2

Surprising my family with a visit home is one of my favorite things to do, and it does not happen as often as I would like.

Towards the beginning of last June, my little sister was coming home from her first year at Seattle University and was so mad at me for not being back in Los Angeles to welcome her home and kick off summer. This same weekend was also conveniently my mom’s birthday. So I called my dad and told him I was booking a trip home to surprise the both of them.

I wish I would have taken a picture of their faces when I went with my dad to pick them up from LAX. They were so surprised and happy when I popped out of the trunk of my dads Expedition. I purposely did not take a picture of the moment because I wanted to live it and I knew that I would be able to vividly remember the emotions that were felt that day.

Photographs Not Taken No. 2

Have you ever thought you documented a moment with a camera but to only find out later that the camera you used was unloaded or malfunctioning? I have.

Have you ever been to Spring Lake or Howarth Park in Santa Rosa? I was there only a few weeks ago, on a trip for school. I brought one of my favorite cameras to photograph with because of how “easy” I feel the camera is to use. I think this idea of “easy” is my downfall. I became clumsy, I cut corners and became too relaxed. I find becoming too relaxed will bite you in the end, in terms of photography.

It must of been 30 minutes into the trip, and 20+ pictures in that I realized my camera was not actually loaded. What do you think about frame counters on a camera? My curiosity is from this fault, and this fault only. Never have I put thought into the counter of frames in a camera until now. The camera’s frame counter is stuck at 40 and has been this way since last Spring.

I was on this boat launch at Spring Lake, and a boat was heading towards the launch to dock. There were three men, beers and fishing rods. I thought it was the perfect picture, for what exactly I have no clue, but something I feel could culturally represent the area.  “Americana”

I asked the men I could photograph them while they floated my way, so they didn’t awkwardly stare. They allowed and I snapped away. Film only, no shots with my digital camera for some reason. It didn’t occur to me that newer technology was needed.

Pure photography needs pure photographic equipment, right? No distractions from LCD screens or memory cards.

After that moment, I had a thought. How many shots am I at? Haven’t I been shooting way more than this roll of film could handle? I had to of reached 36 frames already. I have had film loaded in the camera for quite some time right? Wrong.

Turning the rewind lever, to my dismay the camera was empty. Unloaded and not ready for me to take my pictures. “Leave, goodbye, sorry we aren’t open” is what I feel my camera wanted to say to me earlier. But my camera is a camera, and not a person.

Photographs Not Taken #2

Back in July I was fortunate enough to see one of my favorite bands, Between the Buried and Me, play in Sacramento. That weekend I went to Davis to spend time with some friends, and we had all decided to go to the concert together, but I didn’t anticipate that the show would be sold out. Luckily all of us bought our tickets ahead of time, and I remember the line that formed to get in; it wrapped around the block. Everyone crammed inside the venue and one friend suggested we try to make it toward the front of the venue to get a better view. We pushed our way toward the front, and she generously let me have the better spot since I’m much shorter.

All I remember was the gnawing pain of being pinned between sweaty people and the barricade next to the stage. The entire crowd was as excited as I was, and we all gathered close together while throwing up the horns gesture. Every facial expression in the crowd was reflective of how the music is capable of enthralling. At that moment I wish I had my camera, and perhaps access to the photographers area near the stage to capture the expressions of different people all immersed in the heat of the moment. With the lighting of the encore song, a cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” there would have also been an amazing opportunity to document the band’s performance.

Photographs Not Taken #2

Over the summer, I worked at a childcare inside of a gym. I had been in the back watching the kids when I looked up and saw one of the little girls next to her brother at the craft table. The little girl was probably 5 1/2 and the brother was around the same age. Both of the kids had been wearing blue. They were surrounded by a lot of other kids but these two stood out the most to me. They hadn’t been there for long, but they walked up to the table holding hands. They seemed so close and loving towards each other. It was one of the best things I had seen working at this daycare. I wish I had taken a photo to capture this adorable moment in time.

Photographs Not Taken No. 2

It was over the summer, so a warm day, about 10:30 am. I was at work, outside, exploring bugs and bubbles with the kids in my class. I was sitting on the edge of a tree stump when i looked up at the sensory table to find two of my kids blowing bubbles together. One demonstrating to the other how the bubbles worked. As one and two year olds, parallel play is more typical to see than interactive play or play that involves more than one child. This moment not only caught my eye, but made me wish I had had my camera simply because of the interactions being had. Documenting this moment would have given this interaction justice in the developmental achievements that my children reach everyday. I wish I had my camera.

Photograph Not Taken #2

It was a warm summer afternoon in 2006, the teal curtains preventing most of the harsh rays of sunshine from entering the my family’s house in Healdsburg. My grandparents were in the living room sitting on the black patterned couch, enjoying each other’s company. As strange as it may seem, it was one of the few times I had seen my grandfather holding my grandmother’s hand firmly in his own, his dark skin, tall structure, and stern facial expression a sharp contrast to my grandmother’s light skin, petite stature and friendly smile. My grandmother’s hair was velvety black and blended into the couch’s color and my grandfather’s hair was snowy white, popping out from the dark background. The two of them were on either sides of the couch, watching TV like they usually did in the afternoon, peacefully, silently. I would have loved the contrast of the pair, the sereneness of it and the symmetry of them sitting on either side of the couch. However, regretfully my grandmother passed away in 2008 and so the photograph forever lives only in my memory.

Photographs Not Taken #2

Last year I was in Las vegas for my friend’s 21st birthday for a couple of days in November. One night we got on the VIP list at the club Hakkasan where I got to see Steve Aoki DJ for the night. I was not expecting to take pictures but the moment my friend got to go onstage and dance with Steve Aoki – I was pissed that I didn’t bring a good quality camera with me. Especially when Steve Aoki threw cake at people in the face. Best. Night. Ever. Seriously though, you should have seen the look on people’s faces who got cake all over them. They were ecstatic.